I'm a freelance copywriter currently working in London, and before you ask, no, I don't want to relocate to Dubai.
I've spent most of my career encouraging people to drink, drive and use their phones. Just not at the same time.
Outside of advertising, I have 600 packs of Durex condoms currently sitting in my flat. No, I'm not a Casanova, I'm a failed entrepreneur. They're left over from a condom-on-subscription business I launched four years ago. It was terrible idea, but hey, I'll be STI-free for some time. Last year, I also co-founded an online dating site called 'Tab' which presented you with potential partners every time you opened a new browser tab. That was a better idea, yet we couldn't get the one billion-trillion pounds in funding we needed to make it work.
More recently, I launched Last Seen Online – a real-time chat story told through a series of messages. It has been downloaded over 10 thousand times, and three of those were my mum.
If you're looking for a writer to work on tech projects, chat bots, sites, brand positioning, social and content, then I'm your man.
I'm also much funnier on paper than I am in real life. And that's saying something.
AGENCIES THAT DIDN'T FIRE ME:
R/GA - Freelance copywriter
April 2016 - June 2017
I worked here on Siemens – which sparked a lot of innuendos. Other accounts I worked on with less entertaining names were Nike and McDonalds.
June 2015 - present
Agencies: VCCP, Gyro, Havas, Possible, Atomic, Haygarth, Nonsense, Tug, Rehab Studios, A Little Bird.
Start ups: Splyt, WantMyBet, People.io
Collective London - Midweight Copywriter
July 2013 - June 2015
I worked here in a basement and had no concept of time due to the lack of natural light. On the plus size, there was lots of vodka.
Karmarama - Junior Copywriter
June 2010 - July 2013
Formerly Crayon London, I worked here in 'Big Brother House' style offices. I'm pretty sure my eye sight deteriorated here as I was sat next to a 'cool' neon sign.
BRANDS I'VE WORKED ON
Nike, McDonalds, Siemens, Penguin Random House, Honda, Hyundai, Russian Standard Vodka, B&Q, HTC, Dove, Bacardi, Sky Business, Jabra, Hewlett-Packard, WantMyBet, Meridian, Grant's Whisky, Sony UK, XL Catlin, Honda Moto Europe, and blinkbox.
I'm always up for a gin and tonic (much to the mockery of my non-London friends) so if you'd like to chat, get in touch.